talked/cried to my mom about my depression for an hour and a half tonight. maybe tomorrow i’ll write about it. for now i just need to sleep.
yo lyke u b mixing sum social media and shiz but ight ight
mean is the wrong word.
I do. That’s been an issue in our family since literally forever. My therapist and parents at this point tell me not to think about her. my dad says he’s given up on us having a real relationship. I go back and forth between wanting to be done and refusing to be done. it’s a big reason i hate being home
- me: come to dinner
- katie: My roommate and her bf just walked in!!! I all ready ate had a salad but I did email dad and told him to keep me notified on Tomorrow or Tuesdays dinner tonight I m staying here though
- me: it's father's day..
- katie: I know but I'm also really tired and don't feel like driving I didn't get much sleep didnt feel very well
- me: i'll come pick you up. look it would mean so much to him
- me: you don't have to stay for more than an hour
- katie: Everytime I m there mom starts something with me and it just takes the want out of me for going there
- me: she'll be nice. it's about dad today, not anyone else
- katie: I m tired of mom and I always fight and she always has something to say. She always says she will be nice but then she calls me fat or tells me I need to exercise or tells me to jump on the scale lets see how ur doing with ur diet look I love dad dearly but mom has driven me away
- me: look, one hour. mom will be nice. it would make dad's day. it's not a lot
- we can talk about peter is rwanda or something totally neutral
- me: i'll give you ten dollars to come.
- katie: It always goes to what u doing to find jobs. Since I have moved out and have gone over there I come home upset and hurt from mom
- katie: Mom will always be mom I will never ever forget the day no matter how mad or upset she was at me but the fact that she could just drop off her child at social services and drive away without even thinking twice
- me: when was that?
- katie: When I was preg
- me: also, you're not listening. it's not about mom. It's about dad
- katie: I can't stand to see mom
- katie: Ur not listening I m done with mom. If she is there I m not coming over
- me: fine. but i'll leave you this to remember-- you called the police on her twice while you were in high school for physically "abusing" you. she went with you to get an abortion when you needed one. she was the one who was the biggest backer of you coming home from the unwed mothers' home this winter. she lied for you this last weekend and told everyone you really wanted to be at the funeral but had to work everyday even though she knows that you could have come if you cared. so what that she dropped you off at social services. you're 23 years old. you're not helpless. so what that she asks you about finding jobs? that means she cares enough about you to want you to be successful and doing things in life. she wants you to lose weight? she wants me to lose weight too. she wants the best for you. everything she does is because ultimately she cares. and even if you can't see any of that, dad has bailed you out over and over and over again (helping you come back from california, paying your rent now, helping you with your resume/cover letters, making your doctors appointments, etc.). he deals with mom to help you. he always helps you. if you can't be here tonight, i'm really, really disappointed in you. it's an hour of your time. mom an hour to even just pretend you care
- katie: Nope Susanna u will never never understand how that made me feel idc how old I m I m there daughter ok just like my son will alway be my son
- me: but what about everything else? what about everything you've done? what about stealing thousands of dollars from them? what about screaming and cursing at mom daily? look, i don't want to have this fight, and I won't have this fight. but just take some time to think about what you've done, not just what's been done to you.
- me: and then take time to remember that dad is the one who you contacted on fathers day just by email. he doesn't deserve that
- katie: I saw him today now shut up dont ever message me again
Finished product. Tryna be artsy
liz came over today. it was great.
lying in bed all day staring at the ceiling
going to drive around all night chain smoking
and wondering what it is that gets me to this place